He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize