I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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