The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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