On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
