sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
