just tell him i said nine months
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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