He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize