yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
he thought i was a dude.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
