awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
