I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
