im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
We smell like vodka and hangover
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