i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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