We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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