Have you finally orgasmed yet?
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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