Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
