I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
