I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
