operation harelip BJ is a go
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
