Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
