dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
