Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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