she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
