No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Randomize
