guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Just puked most of my soul out..
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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