my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
