Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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