Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
