sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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