I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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