So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
