Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
