Got a toothbrush?
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize