I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
