office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
