K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Randomize
