it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
