did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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