Duck Duck Cougar?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
The air was thick with penises
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
My ass is underappreciated
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
