he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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