I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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