So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
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