we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Did I show you my penis last night?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Boobs are out for the taking
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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