Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
