You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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