I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
