As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
