just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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