Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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