Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
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