Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
