last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
