Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
