i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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