your thong is hanging out like whoa
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
