I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
