there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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