hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Randomize
