At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
i think i just lost a toe
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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