He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize