I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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