And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
