Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
