You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
