im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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