I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
