I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
