either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
