so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
