Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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