I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
My liver is preforming stress tests.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
