I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
