hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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