There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
