So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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