you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
