i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
