it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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