so explain again why im purple
no
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
