whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
The convent might be a nice break from real life
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
