You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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