that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Randomize
