Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Randomize
